HOCKEE NIGHT - The Malört of Hockey Blogs

PASS THE MALORT: Flames 3 Blackhawks 1

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:35:07 GMT

You'd think tonight would be a fun night...another Galway Bay roadwatch, lots of people making the trek, the Hawks coming off a curbstomping looking to redeem themselves against Iggy and the Stooges.

You'd think.

Tonight the Chicago Blackhawks came out and played tighter than a nun, thinking of not losing instead of winning, and wound up being sent out of Calgary on the shit end of a 3-1 decision with the Flames.

OK, let's get to this...

THE GOOD:

Our roadwatch. We got another incredible crowd. And by "incredible" I mean "no Slak". Everyone rolled out their best Olli Jokinen faces, and the amazing Casey went the extra mile, using props to re-enact the Dancing Olli Jokinen page. I think we finally killed the fourth bottle of tasty Malort too. We can't thank Nolan or Sam at Galway Bay enough for all they've done for us, or for everyone who attended. Without you guys, we'd just be 4 3 guys sitting at a bar watching the Hawks.

Brent Seabrook. He came to play. He scored the Hawks' lone goal, and was a presence all over the ice all night.

THE BAD:

The Hawks' composure. They looked tentative all night, basically working hockey instead of playing it. They're far too tight, and they need to pull out of this spiral, and they need to do it quickly. Basically, Patrick Sharp needs to tornado some rooms.

THE UGLY:

Olli Jokinen.

Next up for the Hawks is a couple days off before they visit the Colorado Avalanche on Tuesday night. See you in the Shoutbox.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

GROUNDHOG DAY: Oilers 8 Blackhawks 4

jheer@att.net (Morpheus) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:30:08 GMT

I felt like I’d seen this before somewhere. I was so excited to write my first recap, and I figured, hey, the Hawks are playing the Oilers. In Edmonton. Can’t be worse than last time they visited Rexall Place. Well, I guess I was right, in that the Hawks managed to score literally twice as many goals as last time. On the downside, they still managed to let the Oilers pants them with EIGHT goals, and gave Verne Gagne the game of his life. Oh, and Taylor Hall can eat a bag of dicks. Did I do that right? Anyway, on with the ranting.

THE GOOD:

The Hawks first line in general. Toews-Kane-Stalberg put pressure on the Oilers all night, but had little to show for it.

Brent Seabrook. I’m putting him here based on his first period play alone, as he was kind of meh the rest of the way.

Sharpie. 2 handsome goals, and strong effort when he was on the ice.

Sam Gagner. 8 points. He had 17 ALL GODDAMN SEASON before tonight. Even though I want to punch him in the ovary, a performance like that has to get a little respect. Right? He tied Gretzky's points-in-a-game record.

THE BAD:

Bryan Bickell. He almost made the UGLY cut, but he did manage to draw a penalty. By getting his own stick lifted into his face. STOP HITTING YOURSELF, BICKELL.

The Nik/Nick D-line. Guh.

THE UGLY:

Corey Crawford. He looked horrible tonight, got out of position way too much. One or two may not have been all on him, sure, but he looked like he was breakdancing out there.

The Hawks PP. I know they are in the top half of NHL teams on the power play, but it sure didn’t show tonight. No pressure on the goal, spent a lot of time regrouping in their own zone. If I heard the "DECLINE IT" joke one more time, I was ready to punch a defenseless kitten.

The Edmonton Oilers. For Christ’s sake, why do they have their first-liners in when they are up 8-4? Dicks.

The Chicago Blackhawks. For fuck’s sake.

This was the last time the Hawks play the Oilers this season, unless of course they meet in the postseason. Better hope the Hawks have home ice if that happens, since the Oilers put 17 goals up against the Hawks in 2 games in Rexall Place. And now, on to Calgary. At least if we get another uninspired performance like this, we’ll be at Galway, fully anesthetized via sweet, sweet Malört. See you there.

Finally, it seems like a good time to use this. Again.

Jebus.

Let Us Know When You Win A Cup: Hawks 2, Canucks 3 (OT)

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (CT) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:44:21 GMT

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Yeah, I'm bitter about this one. The Hawks played a pretty good game against a pretty good team tonight and came up on the short end, losing 3-2 to the Canucks in overtime. It was your standard Hawks/Canucks game at this point, featuring excellent goaltending, periods of sustained offense by both sides, and Alex Burrows being a penisloaf.

Other than the outcome, it was a fun way to restart the season.

THE GOOD

Toews/Kane/Stalberg - This line was all over the place tonight, I counted 204 scoring chances between them. Both Stalberg and Toews had chances to win the game in overtime, although Stals got screwed when the refs put away the whistle and he took a slash to the hands as he broke in alone on Cory Schneider.

Corey Crawford - Crow had a pretty damn good game tonight. He was still and adventure with some of the rebounds, but he made a number of excellent stops, particularly in the first period when the Hawks withstood a barrage of shots from the Canucks, and in the third when the score was tied at 2.

Duncan Keith - Keith looked like DUNCAN KEITH out there. He was the man in front of the net tonight, clearing rebounds and saving at least a couple of goals, as well as doing a great job in the neutral zone, anticipating Vancouver's passes and starting the Hawks offense back the other way.

Cory Schneider - [hat tip]

THE BAD

Nik & Nick - these guys were an adventure in their own zone, especially in the 1st period.

Brendan Morisson and Patrick Sharp - they definitely looked like two guys trying to shake off the rust. Morrison in particular looked like he missed feeding his old Canucks teammates and tried to make up for the lost time by passing to them at every opportunity. Both guys got better as the game went along, so hopefully they just need to get back in the groove.

THE UGLY

I love Andrew Shaw, really I do, but the kid he took too many big hits. And while it's nice that Pat Foley chuckles at his ability to absorb punishment, one of these nights, Shaw isn't going to get up from one of those.

Up Next: Hawks take on the Oilers Thursday. Hockeenight's Morph does the first recap that consists of nothing but photoshops.

I'm going to bed.

PUCKCAST: HOCKEENIGHT Meets HAWK CRAZY

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Hockeenight) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:09:07 GMT

This week Fork and CT welcome Scott from Hawk Crazy, and we discuss:

Taint Nugget shirts (available now!)
Olli Jokinen
Brendan Morrison
The Pro Bowl
Gallagher and Gallagher II
George Hutchins
Our Roadwatch at Galway Bay
Matisyahu

And so much more.

Enjoy.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

HOCKEENIGHT MERCH TABLE: TÄINT NÜGGET WORLD TOUR T-SHIRT

slaky1980@gmail.com (Slaky) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 21:41:24 GMT

Here at Hockeenight we consider ourselves the world's foremost experts on the United Center band who creatively named themselves The Chicago Blackhawks Band. While we may not have been the first to hear them play back in the early days of the preseason, we believe we were the first to offer up some constructive criticisms that may or may not have been taken seriously.

That said, we've decided that The Chicago Blackhawks Band isn't really reflective of the band and how they sound. If you follow us on Twitter you will notice we've decided that a much more apt band name is Taint Nugget. Now you can celebrate your love for Taint Nugget by purchasing the fantastic new Taint Nugget 2011-12 World Tour t-shirt. Created by our photoshop master Morph, this handsome t-shirt will have all of your friends asking you things like, "Who the fuck is Taint Nugget?" and "what the fuck is Taint Nugget?" and so on.

Not only is the official Taint Nugget font emblazoned on the front of the shirt in all its double-umlaut glory - the back also contains all of the band's tour dates complete with date, opponent and venue.

To order just click this link otherwise you're a terrible Blackhawks fan and we hope you drown in a tub of Malort - unless you're Hawknut who would probably enjoy something like that.

VACATION MODE: Predators 3, Blackhawks 1

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:01:15 GMT

deThe All-Star break couldn't get here fast enough.

The Chicago Blackhawks spent the first 40 minutes of tonight's game against the Nashville Predators showing less life than Joe Paterno before finally deciding to put their foot on the gas in the final period. As has happened several times this season, it was a simple case of too little, too late. They looked like they were coming off a game the night before instead of the Preds, coming up on the short end of a 3-1 decision in the United Center.

The All-Star break may now commence, with Patrick Kane and Marian Hossa heading to the seductive glitter and glamour of Ottawa, while the rest of the team will be somewhere that will undoubtedly be better.

Let's get to this:

THE GOOD:

Marian Hossa. Tonight he wore an "A" on the front of his sweater, and he decided it stood for "Awesome". He set up the Hawks' lone goal tonight with a beautiful pass to Dave Bolland in the high slot after drawing coverage off Bolland. He was doing everything he could to make this game his own.

A glimpse at the future. 5 rookie forwards (Brandon Pirri, Ben Smith, Marcus Kruger, Jimmy Hayes and Andrew Shaw) dressed tonight. Smith and Hayes once again played as if one bad shift would land them each in Rockford. Kruger has been steady. Pirri and Smith really didn't make impacts, but you can see each of these 5 playing in the NHL for a few years.

The break. Jonathan Toews sat out tonight healing a sore wrist/hand. Patrick Sharp has been out a couple weeks. Having a week with no games means these stars can recuperate for another week without the Hawks having to play without them. I'm guessing they both dress in Vancouver next Tuesday.

THE BAD:

Corey Crawford. At least in the first. 2 goals that really should have been stopped, a couple piss-poor decisions with the puck could have easily led to a couple more. I'm sure he'll welcome the week off. He still needs to get the bugaboos out of his head.

B y n Bi k ll. That's what a disappearing player looks like. He dressed tonight and did absolutely nothing to vindicate QStache's decision.

Taint Nugget once again rocked us like a tropical depression. Their new gimmick is to play "Back In Black" while the guitarist and bassist mingle among their adoring (?) public. I think I saw someone ask the guitarist if he had a mustard packet for a pretzel. Oh, and that asshole Ronnie Woo Dio made an appearance.

THE UGLY:

This is the life of a meme. Started on Wednesday, running hot on Thursday, reaching critical mass on Friday, forgotten on Monday. Such is #ShawFacts. Yep, by Monday, Comcast Sports Net was definitely walking back their enthusiasm about meeting the brilliant mind who created it. A better guess is that someone either read the site or the Twitter feed. The other sure-fire way of knowing it's over is that the Heckler started printing shirts. Once they get ahold of it, you know the horse is dead, beaten, and sold as dog food.

So this weekend is the All-Star game. Watch it. Or don't.

See You Next Tuesday.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

Puckcast: Fork and CT Tock Hocks

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Hockeenight) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:55:22 GMT

Our latest installment of the Puckcast has Fork and CT welcoming Dave from Hock Tock.

Topics include:

Fork's newfound fame and the potential sponsorship deals
#ShawFacts
Actual hockey discussion
Is there a Muscle Bear Gap?

Prey: Hawks 2, Preds 5

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (CT) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 03:42:53 GMT

I blame Sam Fels. He and some of the crew from Second City Hockey journeyed to Nashville to see this game in person and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! Those bastards ruined us. I'd say Chicago might have been affected by not reaching Nashville until 3:30 this morning, but it's more fun to blame Fels.

Seriously though, that sucked. The Hawks played okay through the first period, and were even until Corey Crawford misdjudged a 100 foot dump in and let it passed him for the Preds 2nd goal. The wheels then completely fell off as the Hawks went into a shell and gave up two more goals in the period thanks to defensive lapses.

The problem is, they couldn't afford this. Both St. Louis and Detroit won, and with Nashville's victory, the Central Division now has 4 teams with 60 points or more. There are only 5 teams with 60 points in the rest of the NHL. And thanks to the seeding preference for Division winners, that means that the Central is a dogfight for the 1st and 4th seeds in the playoffs (although at this point the 6th or 7th spot and a date with one of the weaker division winners might seem preferable). We thought that by piling up points early in the season, Chicago might be able to take it a bit easier down the stretch, saving the legs of their top players for the postseason. But with Detroit being Detroit, and Ken Hitchcock resurrecting the Blues, it appears that won't be the case. Buckle up kids, the regular season may be exciting after all.

THE GOOD

Marian Hossa scored two goals, one beauty where he turned Shea Weber inside out and scored on a backhander and a second on a breakaway when he was cherry picking during the third period.

THE BAD

Jebus, we're gonna need a bigger boat in this section.

Corey Crawford. That second goal can't happen. Not tonight. Not in a divisional game with Detroit and St. Louis playing inferior competition. Crawford hadn't been real good to that point of the game (rebounds everywhere), but after that second goal, the wheels came off.

Leddy/Hjalmarsson - Crawford wasn't good, but you can hang the Predators third goal squarely on this pair. First, Leddy failed on an easy clearing attempt. Then, in the ensuing Nashville rush, Hjalmarsson got caught looking at the puck leaving Colin Wilson wide open for a tap in.

Jonathan Toews - not his play, but his health. Toews didn't appear on the Hawks bench after the second period, and with Patrick Sharp already on the shelf, the Hawks can hardly afford to lose their most consistent player.

THE UGLY

Nashville, like most NHL franchises uses one of the TV time outs to honor military veterans. That's great, but they apparently choose to honor them with the playing of Lee Greenwood's abhorrent "God Bless The USA". They deserve better. We all do.

Up Next: This same Preds team will be in the UC on Tuesday. REVENGE!

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

I'd Like Your Hair Long: Blackhawks 3, Panthers 1

slaky1980@gmail.com (Slaky) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 04:37:21 GMT

The Blackhawks and their fans braved the worst winter storm since the last one to face off against the team that people who are stuck in the past refer to as "Blackhawks South" but who are officially called the Florida Panthers. See, they have a few players that used to be on the Blackhawks. One such player is Brian Campbell who makes a lot of money and was judged harshly for it instead of being judged for his hockey ability which is ample. Another player is Kris Versteeg who you might remember from such films as "I Will Carry This Goddamn Puck Across the Blueline Myself" and "Skullet: A Tribute to Rihanna From a Balding, Tiny White Person". Seriously, I think I saw Kris Versteeg on the undercard at Summerslam '88. There are a few other players who used to ply their trade here in Chicago but the only one I'll mention is Jack Skille who is absolutely terrible.

This was a game the Blackhawks really needed to win and I say that will all due respect to the Panthers who have been terrible on the road as of late. With the schedule about to get a lot tougher here shortly and the rest of the division winning on a regular basis, the Blackhawks need to take two points from these kinds of games at home. So they did that with relative ease. They played a solid, unspectacular (for the most part) game of hockey and stifled the Panthers almost completely to walk away with a 3-1 victory as the seesawing in the Western Conference continues. Let's go to the ins, outs and what-have-yous:

THE GOOD (TOEWS):

- Patrick Kane finally broke his scoring drought by doing the right thing and not passing to Viktor Stalberg on a 2-on-1 breakout that was started by Kane niftily passing to himself off the boards to bring the puck out of his own zone. Hopefully the pucks start going in for Kane from here as he's shooting more than he ever has and also finds himself with his lowest ever shooting percentage. Odds are he's about to get red hot.

- Team play was a highlight tonight as the Hawks basically were in the Panthers shadows all night long allowing very little space for them to do much of anything. The Panthers ended the night with just 19 shots on goal. This probably could have been the Blackhawks first shutout this year but alas...we will hopefully celebrate that milestone soon.

- Jonathan Toews scored again. His 27th goal of the season puts him second in the NHL behind Steven Stamkos. Toews is the greatest. You're all very lucky to have him.

- No ex-Blackhawks scored meaning, as the retired Kelly Reardon said, we didn't have to endure bouts of pointless nostalgia or shoulda wouldas.

THE BAD:

- Well traffic sure sucked tonight. Other than that what can you say? A quiet, unassuming 3-1 win won't get you a replay on ESPN Classic but it more than gets the job done here.

THE UGLY:

- Kris Versteeg is doing for long hair what what your mom did for jeans. F minus, buddy.

- Jack Skille is really the worst player ever.

That's about it for this one. A pretty forgettable game which is pretty ideal at this point in the season. The Blackhawks are going about their business with quiet confidence that a championship contender should have. It's also nice to know that Patrick Sharp can hopefully genuinely heal instead of being rushed back into the lineup like last season.

Next up for the Hawks are the Nashville Predators tomorrow night. Central Division games are crucial because it's by far the best division in the league and no one seems to want to lose. Let's beat them in regulation. Also, St. Louis sucks.

HOUSED: Blackhawks 6, Sabres 2

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:35:20 GMT

When a team isn't playing that well, they allow a team on the skids to come into their building and steal a point or two. When a team is kind of treading water, they play just well enough to win.

When a team is really starting to pull it together, as the Chicago Blackhawks currently are, you look at the reeling team on the other bench, and dispatch them in such cold-blooded fashion that they wished Chicago was never on their schedule to begin with.

Tonight they spread the wealth around the roster, with 11 players notching at least one point, completely curbstomping the Buffalo Sabres 6-2 in the United Center.

Let's get to this:

THE GOOD:

What we really need here is a "Great", since there needs to be a higher level to describe what Jonathan Toews has done night in and night out this season. 2 power play goals, 11-6 at the dot. He's locked in right now, and the team is following his lead.

Andrew Shaw. Again. Jimmy Hayes. Again. Bryan Bickell is now rooming with John Scott and Sami Lepisto in the press box because these kids are clearly in the "earn it" business. They're getting to the net, and as a result, Shaw turned around and had a puck and another wide open net. Hayes never slowed down, and Andrew Brunette hit him right on the tape for an easy tap-in. Each of them wound up with a goal and an assist. Only a blown hand-pass call at the end of the second period kept Shaw from having a 3-point night. Bicks, looks like you're upstairs again Friday. #ShawFacts

THE BAD:

Hell, I dunno...I guess Jason Pominville's second goal of the night could have been prevented if Corey Crawford was quicker post-to-post. Oh, you know what? How about that penisloaf Patrick Kaleta turtling when Hayes went at him after Kaleta got a little elbowy on a hit. First of all, Kaleta is a known chickenshit. Secondly, this cost Hayes a Gordie Howe Hat Trick. Fucker.

THE UGLY:

Every goddamn time the Hawks play Buffalo, are we going to have to hear someone float an asinine Patrick Kane for Ryan Miller trade rumor? Miller makes $3.5 million a year more than Corey Crawford. Is Miller better than Crawford when they're both on their game? Sure. $3.5 million worth? Not on your life. I'm really not looking forward to realignment now, only because it means more games against Winnipeg, so we'll start hearing idiotic Toews trade rumors. Guh.

Next up is a Friday nighter in the United Center against the Florida ~~Blackhawks~~ Panthers. Who just lost Ed Jovanoski for two months after he broke his brittle hand in a fight. Morph's awesome Shaw Photoshop will be in the Committed Indian. Congrats to him on breaking his Indian cherry.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

SHAAAAAWWWW YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH: A Look At The Blackhawks' New Folk Hero

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 23:40:00 GMT

Seriously, how good was the Chicago Blackhawks' 2011 Draft?

You've already had 2 guys have their NHL cherries broken (Brandon Saad and Andrew Shaw), and there are 2 first rounders (Mark McNeill and Philip Danault) who will be core guys when they arrive. There's another second rounder, other than Saad (Adam Clendening) rounding out his college career when he's not bench pressing Buick Roadmasters.

But who knew the guy who would make the biggest first impression would be the fifth rounder, taken 139th overall?

Here's what we said about him after the draft:

ANDREW SHAW C (5th round, 139th overall) - Shaw racked up decent numbers in the OHL, with 54 points in 66 games, and won the league's "Hardest Working Player" award. Again, it looks like Stan loves the guys who bring their lunch pail. Best of all, since his name is Andy Shaw, he can take over at Channel 7 from the guy who left there.

"Bring their lunch pail". Look, this guy is not going to keep scoring goals at a Gretzkyesque pace. He might not even score then at a Bollandian one. But he's getting goals by simply going hard to the net, making his own opportunities, and playing like one bad shift will get him sent to Toledo.

I've beaten this to death on Puckcasts, but this illustrates the next generation of Blackhawks player - it's as if they fed every player profile at this past year's draft into a search engine, and filtered out buzzwords and phrases like "leadership", "hard working", "strong".

Shaw is far from the most skilled player the Blackhawks have. In fact, he's pretty much a prototype 4th liner. His hands are far from baby's-ass soft like Patrick Kane, but him, pucks, and open nets have been fortunately enough to find themselves in the same place. He dropped the gloves in the first period of his first NHL game, and while he got his ass kicked, he showed he's enough of a sandpaper guy to stir things up as much as everyone hoped Dan Carcillo would.

He's getting in the middle of everything when he's out there, and he's being rewarded. In the San Jose game, he got a goal and went 6-for-6 in the faceoff circle. For this, QStache gave him 17 minutes of ice time. Against San Jose.

While it's a huge stretch to think that Shaw will ever be an all-star, the fact is that I don't think he'll have to pick up any bar tabs or dinner checks any time soon. Now, if only we could figure out how to put his heart into Bryan Bickell's body...

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

ANOTHER HOCKEENIGHT ROADWATCH: This Is Gonna Kick Ass.

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:34:00 GMT

So what are you doing February 3rd? It's a Friday night, and the Hawks will be up in Calgary, a city known for being colder than brass monkey balls.

So come on down to Galway Bay, 500 W. Diversey in Chicago. We're going to have hockey, Malort, beer, Malort, prizes and Malort.

We'll even sweeten the deal. We always get an hour of open bar (Miller Lite, well cocktails, and or course, plenty of delicious Malort). First 50 people to show me their best Olli Jokinen face get wristbands.

The puck drops at 8, we'll be there around 7. We're pregaming at Paddy Long's, where bacon bomb sandwiches will be in order. Come on down and help us keep douchebags from trying to shoot pool during the game.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

PUCKCAST: Hooking The Sharks

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Hockeenight) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:25:35 GMT

Another Sunday night game, another postgame recap Puckcast.

This week, we discuss:

Viktor Stalberg
Known fat bastard Fork making a crack about "fat chicks"
Andrew Shaw
Fork exulting over his Giants
CT belching
Galway Bay (February 3rd)

and some other crap. Enjoy.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

Andrew Shaw: Best Player of All Time - Hawks 4, Sharks 3

slaky1980@gmail.com (Slaky) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:58:49 GMT

The Blackhawks took a huge step toward regaining first place in the Western Conference by beating the perennially disappointing San Jose Sharks 4-3 on one of those six o'clock starts that Pat Foley waxes ecstatic about. Of course that leap into first depends on the lowly Anaheim Ducks beating the Canucks so we're not going to get too excited just yet.

THE GOOD:

- We've got a cult hero on our hands folks. A guy the meatballs can really get behind. He's got all the characteristics: he's young, he came out of nowhere (if you don't follow juniors) and he isn't afraid to stick his nose into an oncoming fist or two. He's Andrew Shaw and he's, like, totally dreamy and stuff. Also he's scoring at a completely unexpected and ridiculous rate. He's essentially stepped in for the injured and brainless Dan Carcillo seamlessly and is making it impossible for the Hawks to send him back down. Anyway, Shaw scored again tonight and won all six of his face-off attempts.

- Viktor Stalberg continues to stick it down my throat. I really didn't expect him to keep it up but he's having a great year and kudos are due.

- Jonathan Toews deserves his own column. Perhaps we should rename it "The Toews, The Bad and The Ugly".

- Sean O'Donnell lived out one of my fantasies by punching Brad Winchester in the goddamn face. Hero.

THE BAD:

- I thought Corey Crawford gave up a few too many rebounds. It's a problem and needs to be fixed. The Hawks gave up only 24 shots and three of them found their way in.

- Viktor Stalberg tried to cheat his way into a goal by kicking it in. What an asshole.

THE UGLY:

I don't really have much here other than the Hawks made things a little too interesting near the end. They had to kill a 6-on-4 for a full minute when Hjalmarsson was called for a hook that was probably a dive and barely managed to do so. Luckily, everyone was able to exhale as the clock ran out on the Sharks and everything went better than expected.

Up next is a rare meeting with the Buffalo Sabres in Chicago. That should be a fun test against Ryan Miller and known penisloaf Patrick Kaleta. We'll also see if Patrick Kane plans on scoring another goal this year. Go Hawks.

NEGATIVE: Red Wings 3, Blackhawks 2 (OT)

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 20:39:31 GMT

Everyone relax.

The Chicago Blackhawks aren't pregnant, despite missing 2 periods.

The Hawks were clearly playing in Central Time, as they didn't start the game in Joe Louis Arena at the same time the Detroit Red Wings did. As a result, they were outshot 29-11 after 40 minutes, with only Corey Crawford showing all his glitches are ironed out, and a fluke goal on bad puckwork by Jimmy Howard keeping it from being worse than the 2-1 deficit they had.

Erstwhile Red Wing Marian Hossa slammed in a game-tying goal in the final minute to send it into overtime before known criminal, miscreant, and overall jagoff Todd Bertuzzi banged home a rebound to send the Blackhawks home on the bad end of a 3-2 overtime decision.

Let's get to this:

THE GOOD:

The Hawks and Red Wings. Three games, each decided by a goal, two in overtime. These teams need to meet in the playoffs. Hell, they should really just skate 82 games against each other, then play 4 playoff rounds. This is the shit right here, kids.

Corey Crawford. He finally looks like he has his mojo back. He wasn't fighting pucks, he looked strong in net. He stopped 40 Detroit shots, and there weren't many Frolik-like ones in there. This game was one that could have gotten very ugly very quickly, and Crawford saved everyone's bacon.

Andrew Shaw. Butch got his third goal by hustling in on what looked to be an ordinary dump-and-chase. Only Howard not getting his paddle fully down, allowing the puck to glance off the heel and right to Butch with a wide-open net, allowed the goal. But if Butch half-assed it in, that puck just bounces out of harm's way. He's not going to make it easy to send him down once Handsome returns.

The music in Joe Louis Arena. Yeah, they always play Journey, but they will bust out some cool stuff too. Today I heard "Town Called Malice" by The Jam. Maybe to even things out, we can send them Taint Nugget.

THE BAD:

Booing Marian Hossa? Really? All the years of dopey Hawks fans booing Chris Chelios finally rubbed off? Look, had there been no salary cap, Hossa would be a Red Wing for life. He liked playing there, and Ken Holland decided to go long on Johan Franzen instead of Hossa. I think this is pretty misguided anger.

Brian Bickell. 12 shifts, 7:11 ice time. If it weren't for waivers, he would have gone down instead of Ben Smith. How can such a ginormous, Franken-Berry-looking motherfucker be so invisible on the ice is a mystery to me. He's sure as hell not playing like a guy who is on the verge of being a throw-in in a deadline deal trying to show he should stay.

THE UGLY:

The Henrik Zetterberg "Bleacher Creature". Even creepier than the Kane.

Next up for the Hawks is a quick trip back home, where they face the red-hot San Jose Sharks tomorrow night in the United Center. See you in the shoutbox.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.

Running Wild: Hawks 5, Wild 2

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (CT) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 04:16:13 GMT

REMAIN CALM, ALL IS WELL!

You see? The sky ISN'T falling. The world ISN'T ending. The Blackhawks aren't complete frauds who rode a combination of smoke, mirrors, Hossa, Toews and some sort of Jedi mind tricks to the top of the conference and then finally imploded like so many other teams this year. They just lost a few games in a row. It happens sometimes.

But just in case you wanted to see a team that won with smoke and mirrors to start the season, all you had to do was look across the bench to tonight's opponent, the Minnesota Wild. Minnesota flew out of the gate and rode hot goaltending and just enough scoring to the lead in their division. Then December came and with it the realization that a team save percentage of over 93% MIGHT not be sustainable over a full year. And guess what? It wasn't.

The bottom line is, Chicago is a better team than the Wild and they went out and played like it tonight. The final score was 5-2, but the game never felt that close. Chicago had the better of the offensive chances all night, with both Wild goals coming when Ray Emery coughed up big rebounds (and you thought only Corey Crawford did that).

THE GOOD

Rookies - Both Jimmy Hayes and Andrew Shaw netted goals tonight. Shaw's tied the game at 1 and Hayes gave Chicago the lead, and also broke their horrifying power play drought. Of course, Hayes was also on the ice for both Wild goals but SHUT THE HELL UP.

2nd Power Play Unit - The Hawks went 2 for 3 on the power play tonight after going something like 0 for their last 246. Both goals came from the second unit which seems to be doing a lot more simplifying than the top group. The first goal came when Dave Bolland camped out behind the net, baited a Minnesota defenseman into coming after him then flipped the puck to Hayes in front for the score. The second goal came when Bolland hustled to a rebound of a Steve Montador point shot and flipped it past Josh Harding.

Viktor Stalberg - Stalberg's run of AWESOMENESS continues, so screw you, Forklift, Fro Dog and Ski. Seriously though, Stalberg's been playing quite well this season, but now the goals are finally starting to come.

Bolland - Look what happens when Q takes Bolland off the point on the power play and lets him create with the puck down low.

THE BAD

Near misses - not bad so much as frustrating. The Hawks had a ton of good chances that they just quite convert. Luckily, the depth* guys everyone was bitching about 2 weeks ago are picking up the slack.

And yes I realize that Hayes and Shaw weren't up with the team 2 weeks ago.

Patrick Kane - still on the schneid. WHEN WILL PATRICK KANE SCORE A GOAL SO WE CAN DWELL ON SOMEONE ELSE'S SCORING DROUGHT?!?

THE UGLY

The guy in the Shoot the Puck contest during the second intermission. I don't remember what he looked like but he used his moment in the spot light to tell Sarah Kustok she was beautiful and that he loved her. I wonder what Sarah thinks of all these great Hawks fans now?

*This is code for all the forwards besides Hossa, Sharp, Toews and Kane

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GOODBYE, OLD FRIEND: Blackhawks 5, Blue Jackets 2

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Forklift) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:24:47 GMT

There are chance meetings that can be transformative. Such was the night in the 2007-08 season when I entered the United Center for Bud Light Blackhawks Hat Night. It was your basic baseball cap with an adjustable back.

As a rule, I don't much go for the adjustable back hats, I generally prefer fitted ones. But this one seemed to fit pretty well. In fact, it became my go-to, even as I had dalliances with others.

It was a good rain hat, and the red color was great for going to crowded places. Made me easy to spot.

It went with me to Mexico, Jamaica, Disney World, New York, California, and even the exotic locales, like Glenview.

There were times it was in jeopardy, when Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, or maybe Patrick Sharp had two. Every night I wore it to the United Center, I always knew there was a chance I was leaving bareheaded.

As sure as I was the Hawks were going to drop a nickel on the Columbus Blue Jackets tonight, that's how little I expected the way those 5 goals would come to be.

Sure, I knew Jared Boll would be a penisloaf, and he didn't disappoint. I also figured I'd wind up ranting about how much the instigator rule sucks. I did.

I figured the Blackhawks' power play would right itself against the woeful Blue Jackets. It still sucks. Until they straighten this out, teams will be more likely to take liberties, knowing there will be no retribution taking place on the scoreboard.

But I never expected the Blackhawks would be propelled by Viktor Stalberg. And when Stalberg tucked the puck into an empty Columbus net to achieve his first-ever NHL hat trick, the hat that has been with me through rain and shine for the last four years was returned to whence it came.

Next up is a Thursday night tilt against the always-electrifying Minnesota Wild. Time to break in a new hat.

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Puckcast: Forklift is Sleepy

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (Hockeenight) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:43:05 GMT

Back on Sunday, CT and Forklift assembled for a quick Puckcast to discuss the Hawks/Red Wings game and various other crap that happened in the NHL.

Topics covered:

Losing to the Red Wings sucks
Patrick Sharp getting hurt sucks
The NHLPA's rejection of the new conference alignment
Forklift's Ambien additiction.

Dat Syuked - Wings 3, Blackhawks 2 (OT)

slaky1980@gmail.com (Slaky) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 03:28:40 GMT

What is it about Hawks-Wings games that produce that impending feeling of doom? It must just be the way I was raised. Seemingly every single time the Blackhawks play the Red Wings at the United Center and have a slim lead in the third, it was simply not made to last. Tonight was no different.

GOOD:

- Corey Crawford was pretty good for most of the night which was refreshing after a couple of games where the Blackhawks looked less than stellar in their own end. If this Corey hangs with us the rest of the way, I can feel a lot better about the prospects of the men in red.

- I can't really think of much else. I know the Blackhawks weren't bad tonight but something about this all-too-familiar style of loss to Detroit on home ice at a time when the Blackhawks are sputtering a little just leaves me feeling a little unfit to praise.

BAD:

- Third period collapses - those count as bad, right? You often get the feeling that Red Wings fans feel confident when their team is down by a goal heading into the third. On the flip side, I'm generally one wrong move away from filling my shorts with foam and based on my Twitter feed I think most of you are, too.

- He looked better tonight, but Patrick Kane is fighting it. He's in a big time slump and had the game on his stick in the dying seconds and just couldn't find any space behind Ty Conklin. I kept hoping he'd bust out a dagger but it was not to be.

UGLY:

- It doesn't get much uglier than the most handsome man in hockey getting hurt after what could have been a huge game from him. Patrick Sharp left the game with an "upper body" injury, in other words he probably smacked his moneymaker somewhere pretty hard. Poor guy - we can only hope it's not serious but the way the Blackhawks have handled head injuries recent weeks I have my concerns.

- I'm not going to complain about the officiating.

- Johan Franzen with a straight right to Steve Montador's grill after Pavel Datsyuk won the game with a typical Datsyuk play. I'm guessing Monty deserved it but unfortunately he'll have to wait until their next meeting to get any measure of revenge. Fortunately, it's Saturday.

Next up, the Blackhawks take on the red-hot Columbus Blue Jackets. Hopefully they can beat the Stockholm Syndrome out of Rick Nash.

Suckfest: Hawks 0, Avalanche 4

Meatheads@hockeenight.com (CT) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 04:14:54 GMT

You know, I was just going to skip the whole damn recap.

That would have been the easiest thing, you know? I was just going to post 3 lines about how the Hawks sucked and that would be that I would go to bed. But that wouldn't be fair to you, the readers. Plus, as I watched the third period, one thing kept running through my mind: as ragged as the Hawks looked in this game, they could have won it. The opportunities were there, they probably had at least 3 chances that featured a Hawk forward 1 on 1 with Varlamov, but they couldn't cash in.

That's not to say they deserved to win. Nearly every part of the Chicago team was mediocre to bad tonight. The Hawks lost and they deserved to lose. Let's hope they actually show up motivated on Sunday for the Red Wings.

THE GOOD

I'm loathe to hand out a good to anybody, but I will credit Michael Frolik. Fro is one of the guys whose spot is threatened by the recent call ups and he did respond. Frolik was one of the few guys I would say busted his ass all night out there.

You know who else was probably good? Slaky. I bet he was sitting home on the couch, watching the game and throwing off brilliant one-liners and pausing only to groom his magnificent beard with a garden rake. I salute you, Slak.

THE BAD

Joel Quenneville: Look, we've been over the John Scott thing many times. We're beyond the point where we can blame Scott. We know what he is. He knows what he is. EVERYBODY knows what he is. So, with the Hawks in the second game of back to backs, Q elects to dress John Scott and play him for 3 minutes and 25 seconds. That's right, Old Donald and Sammi LePisto sat in the press box so that John Scott could play less than 4 minutes. Fucking ridiculous.

Corey Crawford: Once upon a time, I called myself a goalie. I know it's a tough position to play, and can't imagine the pressures that come with playing it at the highest level. What I'm saying is I'm sympathetic to netminders, and while Corey didn't give up anything terrible, sometimes you need some great saves from the goalie, and there were none to speak of tonight.

Niklas Hjalmarsson and Nick Leddy - Christ on a bike these two guys were horrible. Granted their troubles were intensified by Q's insistence on dressing only 5 d-men but neither of these guys had any clue what to do against the Avs forecheck. Quenneville mercifully broke them up for a bit during the 2nd period but eventually put them back together so they could give up the Avs 4th goal.

THE UGLY

Shane O'Brien - I hate Shane O'Brien. Seriously, SOB is a total and complete fuck up and I hope he gets trapped in a burning barn.

That's right, I'm invoking FIREBARN.

Up Next: Hawks are off on Saturday and play the Red Wings on Sunday. There may be a Hockeenight Postgame Puckcast.

Or not. We like to keep you guessing.

All content copyright 2011 hockeenight.com. Any reproduction or reuse of this material without the written consent of the authors is prohibited.